Friday, February 17, 2012


Time flies and it has been almost 4 months to the date of my last post. Many things have happened, good and bad, family and friends.

It would be foolish to say it has been a bright start to the year. Besides my academics where i achieved an A on my only test and coursework thus far, nothing has gone that well. I have never been one who likes to sugar-coat and tact is perhaps one thing i severely lack but such is the reality of things before me, i cant help but feel jaded at times.

i almost broke up with Fiona after many arguments surrounding the same issue and even though it seems to have simmered, our rs has never quite recovered and I'm not afraid to admit it. The onus is on me to steady this rs because at the end of the day, despite everything that has been said, i really think shes the one. But its never easy to date someone who is older and working, none of my friends are in that situation and its tough matching expectations especially if you are already on an uneven playing field. How do i make up for my lack of financial stability now? Jiawei was the closest example but his rs failed and I'm really afraid it happens to me too.

I was hit hard yesterday by a comment that i lacked discipline and it was implicitly implied that i had no ambition. I have never questioned my motivation in achieving my goals and god has been nice to me all my life in a sense that just about everything i have embarked on has brought about success. As an overseas scholarship recipient, i basically have a secured job and my primary role is just to ensure I get my first class and its the case for any scholar you ask. I came to London with the goal of getting a first class as well as to travel the whole of Europe and whatever lingering desire of picking up IB just faded away. I hate it when my mum and fiona say why there is a need to travel. It doesnt matter that most of my allowance go into that and im practically spending the bare minimum in London but it honestly ticks me when they presumptuously say that entails not studying along with a misalignment of my priorities. I have never been a outright mugger. Sure i study a hell lot when i need to but when it comes to enjoyment, i dont see why i should deny myself that. At the end of the day if i achieve the results, no one can fault me. At least thats how i saw it. Being in a rs now means views are often laid down for discussion and as much as i enjoy doing it, there are times when we dont see eye to eye. Deep down, im frustrated that many of the proposed trips with my friends have been turned down because i do not want to be 'just having fun'. But in a rs you sacrifice things and come to a compromise, something that is not easy for someone who has had his way all his life but i'm getting better at that or so i hope.

It was correctly pointed out i should attempt to start off on a better foot compared to my fellow scholars and pick up a useful technical skill such as IB. Sure i have the interest, but its definitely not a priority to me, not before this morning at least. After some thought over the day, perhaps its time to reevaluate all these and start making better use of my free time. Having said that though, I definitely do not want to give up traveling and I still hope to make my pre summer trip with JW and the others.

Never thought a rs would be so challenging, let alone a LDR but this makes it all the more worth holding on to and I'm determined to make it work.

At least my friends aint doing that bad. Im very happy for Ara who is happily attached now following what is best described as a very fucked up second half of the year.I feel bad that since ive been here, ive not been as close as i have been previously and it sucks that i cant be that first one by his side listening to his probs when it happens. Nevertheless im glad we still talk regularly enough and im looking forward to seeing him in June. Very happy for you bro.

Its 3am and its time to stop reflecting and get some rest. VinE night is next saturday so its gonna be a long week ahead...

Twistin' at 6:19 PM
Thursday, October 20, 2011

Random Ramblings

Its been so long since i last posted here that i actually forgot my login details, never thought that day would come.

I had a conversation w HL a couple of days ago and how if we really wanted to have an outlet to rant, it should be on a private page. Personally though i dont even think i would write about my deepest darkest fears on any page. This coupled w the fact that the blog is probably fading away into obscurity w each passing day bar the few loyal readers who come here every few weeks so what the heck.

Its been little over a month since i arrived in London and everything seemed to be working out fine. Having an awesome friend as my roomie, very flexible school hours, a number of my good friends are here in london,i find time to skype the girlfriend and mother at least once in 3 days, im going traveling during the holidays, everything seems perfect, at least on the surface. Im not going to be extreme and say my time here has been an entire disaster but it definitely isnt as smooth-sailing as i intended it to be.

I have never considered myself to be someone who would miss home and i could always imagine myself striving it out overseas back when i was a little younger seeing how my dad did it. I spent most of my time in school and in camp previously with whatever remaining time mostly spent with friends, i was often chided by my mum for being able to live with just friends. For a large part of my life i thought so, then army came and kinda skewed my perspectives a little and now that i find myslef living independently, i would be lying if i said i didnt miss home, my family, my girlfriend, the very good home-cooked food and not having to walk quickly late at night for fear of being robbed or killed although the latter seems improbable anyway.

On nights like this when i have nothing to do, nobody to talk to, i think of Fiona who i miss dearly, i think of home, i think of family, i think about how my friends back home are doing. I get irritated when i facetime my family and no one is responding, i get very pissed off when i try to skype Fiona and she oversleeps making me wake up early for nothing and i cant help but feel disappointed when i didnt get to oovoo with the s42 peeps last week. So when we argued that night, Fiona was right to point out behind the BS about accountability and principles, the main reason why i got so ticked was because i didnt get to skype her that day and she probably was right.

Call it my male pride and what have you but i never quite liked showing my vulnerable side to others not even my family. I think to date the only friend that has seen me cry is Javier but i digress. Things aint that bad that i sob myself to sleep every night along with those other emo shit, dont get me wrong. It just hasnt been as easy as i thought it would be. Its something i cant express to both my mum and fiona because it would make them more worried than they already are.

Socializing was something everyone was talking about prior to my departure and how life was going to be so happening. I find it funny that in the 1 month ive been here, ive only visited a club once and drank hard liquor once. I find myself hanging out w other Singaporeans more often than w the locals or other international students but i guess its the same for many of the other singaporeans.

But at the end of the day, im still positively excited about school and on most days i have enough fun w my friends but i hate these moments of peace and serenity when i start thinking of everyone back home. This is something i need to start getting used to and i should also start attempting to cook because im not sure how much longer can i keep up w eating out for lunch everyday. Oh well back to other mindless activities like re-watching HIMYM and to those reading this back home, i really hope you guys are doing well!


Twistin' at 12:49 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2011



Love is our resistance. I made a resolution to never regret not trying. It wont be broken anytime soon.

Twistin' at 6:42 AM
Saturday, July 30, 2011


It was jie's convocation today! Time flies, really it does. I still remember THAT email to her dad about why she should go to SMU and in the blink of an eye, she has graduated.

Wang's flying tomorrow, Ara is already gone, Darren, Shane and Shannon will be gone over the next 2 weeks and very soon it will be my turn. Dont really have anything I will particularly miss other than my family considering some of my very best pals are either in the states or going to the UK too. Very soon, I will graduate and thereafter working life. Well but i guess for now its enjoyment and more enjoyment, the serious stuff can wait till much later!


Twistin' at 6:22 AM
Saturday, July 16, 2011


I had a great time today with my XD and Chin Hao. Be it the reckless driving, HTHT, the awkward jokes, today reminded me why i enjoy hanging out with you guys so much. Thanks for making the journey with me to ecp(athough you guys pbb enjoyed the gay HTHT with each other too)

Was reminded by ben neo its 2 months. And so the countdown begins..

Twistin' at 10:00 AM
Tuesday, July 12, 2011


After spending less than a week at home, I have begun my stint at HDB. Lots to get used to in all honesty. Being asked to do filing and make photocopies of stuff were things i used to task Alex to do back in AI. But oh well, we all have to start at the bottom dont we? Learned quite a few secrets behind HDB's scholarship selection amongst others.

And it is now 9 weekends till departure week. Maybe its time i started writing down a list of what needs to be packed... Any volunteers want to help me start?

Twistin' at 8:21 AM
Monday, July 04, 2011


The disappointment wasnt exactly the most ideal way of ending my last working day with the SAF. But it is the next batch's problem to deal with it already. A good break awaits me albeit just a week but its better than nothing. Now to start working on my UK visa documents

Twistin' at 8:44 AM